Not Knowing

"Keep your face to the sunshine and shadows will fall behind you." Walt Whitman

I’m at a pause in life. There have been ups and downs of too much work, not enough balance.

It’s been a time of fierce grace and kindness.

It’s brought forward (manifested) people that humble me each day with generosity and love. It’s been a beautiful reminder as I live This Life of how I would like to continue to interact in it.

It occurred to me yesterday that it’s the not knowing that’s been the hardest. Not that I need to know. But parts of me are uncomfortable when I don’t know.

In truth, I don’t really need to know. I just want to know. 

The not knowing is quietly teaching me to lay it all down. To look at, asses, ask myself... What do I want to pick up and carry? What do I want to let go of?

It's slowly (and brutally) reminding me that I should work to see and experience each day, each day. To not live in yesterday or tomorrow but in today. Simple. But brutal.

I'm learning that letting go, asking and letting it unfold is a practice and state of mind.

It's a work in progress.

Bloody hell ….