"What a wonderful thought it is that some of the best days of our lives haven't happened yet." Anonymous
I was reminded this weekend physically, mentally and by friends that working towards balance is important to a whole, wonderful life. Because… there are no do overs. That at the end of my days the moments that I treasure will be the times I made for self, of making new friends, treasuring old friends, spending time with family, tribe and community.
I’d forgotten that the last 26-days of working with no break and unsustainable hours. I. Am. Really. Not. Kidding.
Towards the end, my brain (and me I suspect), was not functioning at its best. By mid-week last week pure exhaustion had set in. Yet, I kept at it. Work needed to get done. I even planned to work 6-8 hours - each day - this last weekend. Thinking if I could push through to the 4th of July weekend. Take some time then. Rest then. Recoup then. I'd be good. Body? Brain? By last Friday? They did what I didn't (wouldn't) do for them. Shut down.
An event Friday evening, personal things the last weeks (not honored or attended to) and a conversation Saturday reminded me that life is about choice(s). I have them. That my work is to get better at boundaries, setting them. Working on integrating wellness, health and life in a balanced way. It's most likely a life long practice for me.
When I work unsustainable hours I don't work from balance. I work from scarcity. When I'm in scarcity I'm vulnerable. It's in these moments I need to take down time, circle back and connect with self and my core values. That I need to keep working on me walking me back.
Each time I choose one or all I choose from a place of love. From balance. From grace. From light. From joy and happiness. That I step into more.
A post I read Saturday brought it all home. That to let go, surrender and fall can be to fall up. That in surrendering I let go of what is not serving me and open myself up to the freedom of so much more. Albeit, much of it not yet known. In the letting go I open up to infinite possibilities, beauty and blessings that will serve me in working to actualize a more balanced, beautiful life. Scary and exciting in a butterflies in the stomach kind of way.
You all walked me back.