Finding Creativity in the Wild Unknown
“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do.” Brene Brown
Who knew that when I wrote Place of Song that I’d go silent for so long? Partly it was the hustle that happens when you re-establish yourself in a new place and new job. It was also about working on a deeper, richer, more grounded me. One that ended up being a journey into more vulnerability and the wild unknown.
A journey to unpack choices I’ve made (good and not so good), origin story, ancestral DNA and into who I want to be for me. Not others.
It’s taken me a bit to get back to understanding how important creativity is for me. How it grounds me. Brings me joy. I’d taken it for granted for so long that when I lost it (let it go), it was a loss of self. To get it back I had to go deeper and work through origin trauma and another level of healing myself.
I’m a chin-up kinda gal, but my ass was getting kicked. I needed to keep learning to let go of the chin-up, power through behavior and go deeper to heal deep, buried wounds. Be even more vulnerable, continue to learn to ask for help and slow down.
I had to own I was tired and stressed and making life decisions in survival mode. From scarcity and fear vs. love, health, balance and grace. The last six months (a year if I’m honest) have been a wake-up call. I needed to re-learn how to move from my heart center, love and self-worth. Even if it meant more significant changes.
I’m learning to make choices that engage my creative self in new and old ways. That what I do is important but so is my love of craft and making. To write, knit, draft, collaborate, design and engage with other creatives is tied to my soul and purpose.
I’ve slowed down and work to live my values, each day: loyalty, authenticity, community, love and faith. To give me time and permission to create, dream and hope. To work and look for work. To work to build more than one business. To be present in one creative endeavor a day. Even if it’s only for 5-minutes a day.
I’ve also learned to parent myself and set boundaries. Practice forgiveness. Place value and worth on and in me. To practice what brings me joy and focus on my health and well-being.
It is enough.”